Commandments to California Wives
James Hutchings and W.C. Butler, “Commandments to California Wives,” before 1855. Prints and Ephemera, Huntington Digital Library.
Document Text |
Summary |
| Now it came to pass that as thy servant sat alone and at night watching the dying embers of his cabin fire, behold the latch of his cabin door was softly lifted, and before him stood – an angel! Clothed in female apparel. As in duty bound, I immediately arose from my only stool, and invited her to be seated: this she gracefully declined; but, placing her white and beautiful fingers upon the bosom of my woolen shirt, in a voice of musical distinctness she thus addressed me, “Young man, hast thou courage?” I was almost speechless, for I felt what little I possessed fast oozing away, and I modestly answered that I had none to boast of, yet: dare do all that may become a man.” “It is enough,’ she replied, “I therefore commission thee to give the following- | One night I was sitting by the fire and an angel appeared. I stood and offered her my seat, but she refused. She put her hand on my chest and asked “young man, do you have courage?” I almost couldn’t answer because I was so nervous, but I said I had none more than other man. She said “It is enough, so I am choosing you to pass along these commandments.” |
| Commandments to California Wives. | |
| I. Thou shalt not “put on airs” of self-importance, nor indulge in day-dreams of extravagance, nor allow thy vanity and love of dress to turn thy head, and unfit thee for the sober duties of life, or make thee merely an expensive toy and walking advertisement of the latest fashions. | 1. You shall not be vain or dream of a fancy life, or let your dreams ruin you for daily life. |
| II. Thou shall not believe thyself to be an angel–all but the wing,–nor over-estimate thine own and under-estimate thy husband’s value; because the scarcity of thy sex leads men to bow, almost in worship, to silk or calico made into woman’s garments. Neither shalt thou be intoxicated by the personal attractions and flattering attentions of men with finger-rings, fine apparel and prancing horse; nor by the glittering equipage and wonderful promises of the unprincipled and gay gallant-lest thy weakness and folly tempt thee to prefer him to thy husband, and soon under the plea of “incompatibility of temper,” or other phantom of the imagination-thou become dissatisfied, and in the end “seek a separation,” or “pray for a divorce,” to gratify thy vain desires, or cover thy sin. | 2. You shall not overestimate your own value and underestimate your husband’s value because there are more men than women in this territory. You shall not be attracted by rich men, or you may find you marry the wrong man and need to get a divorce to cover your mistake. |
| III. Thou shalt not consider it fashionable, cleanly, or economical, to sweep the streets with one-hundred-dollar dresses–when at home thou considered thyself fortunate to get calico;–nor to promenade muddy sidewalks in long satin robes and bedraggled underclothes; nor to wear jewels and flowers on thy head, while thy feet go “flippity-click” in buskin shoes run down at the heel, and discover to strangers the holes in thy stockings. | 3. You shall not wear expensive dresses for daily chores, or wear jewels on your head when your stockings have holes in them. |
| IV. Thou shalt not starve thyself and family twenty-nine days out of thirty, to feast thy circle and give a party; nor by the purchase of expensive gew-gaws and finery keep thyself and husband poor; nor run up bills for frills and furbeloes, while the dry goods merchant and thy husband are at their wits’ end how to pay their way; nor spend hard earnings foolishly; nor lose a half day shopping, to invest four bits.–neither shalt thou devour all thy savings at cotillion parties and balls; nor waste thy substance by improvidence or neglect. | 4. You shall not starve your family every month so you can host fancy parties or purchase expensive things. |
| V. Thou shalt not fret, nor sulk, nor faint, nor fly into hysterics because thine unfortunate husband cannot buy for thee “that beautiful moon, made of such nice green cheese,” and a riding dress to match; nor quit his business at any moment, and take you out a riding to–Paradise. Neither shalt thou ride or walk with other men, nor associate with profligates and spend-thrifts in the ball room, or by the way-side, in preference to thy husband; nor, under the excuse of saving his purse, treat him as a simpleton, or slave, to stay at home and nurse the children, or follow thee–at a proper distance–to await thy pleasure, or carry thy lap-dog. | 5. You shall not throw a fit if your husband cannot afford to buy you fancy things. You shall not hang out with other men with more money. You shall not treat your husband like a servant or slave. |
| VI. Thou shalt not accept present of Cashmere shawls, specimen shawl pins, embroidered elastics, diamond rings, or other baubles, as the price of thy husband’s and thine own dishonor–supposing they will bring thee happiness; for–after thou hast forsaken honor, husband, children and home–as ministers of retribution they will dog thy footsteps, and haunt thy sleep with withering memories of the happy PAST, and shut for ever out the angel images of innocence and love, that hovered around thy parents’ dwelling and in thy husband’s home;–while thy poor abandoned children, the objects of charity and pity, wander as outcasts, and he that was thy husband perish in sorrow and the gutter–a miserable drunkard, or a broken-hearted, premature, old man. | 6. You shall not accept gifts from other men and dishonor your husband. If you do, you will be haunted by the memories of your happy life, your children will be outcasts, and your husband will die in a gutter from shame. |
| VII. Thou shalt not substitute sour looks for pickles; nor a fiery temper for stove-wood; nor cross words for kindlings; nor trifling talk for light bread; nor tart language for dessert; nor excuses for anything. Neither shalt thou serve up cold looks or cold meats for breakfast, nor scoldings and hard potatoes for dinner, nor what remains of the other two meals for supper–no, not even on washing days. Neither shalt thou allow hard feelings or unwashed dishes to accumulate; nor withhold either secrets or shirt buttons from the bosom of thy husband; and NEVER omit LITTLE KINDNESSES of any kind. | 7. You shall not treat your husband poorly, or withhold kindness of any kind. |
| VIII. Thou shalt not neglect to make thy person and thy home attractive–that when thy husband cometh from his daily toil, or business care, thy cheering looks of loving welcome may greet his footsteps at the cottage door, and charm him into forgetfulness of all but thee. And Should he be unfortunate–as many are–thou shalt not increase his sorrows–as many do–by weeping and repining; but, with all thy noblest sympathy and womanly love, seek to lift the heavy burden from his manly heart; and thus renewed, again to dare the rugged and slippery steep that leads to fortune and success,–believing “there’s no such word as fall,” while thou art near to cheer him on, and share with him the victory. | 8. You shall not stop making your home and yourself attractive to your husband. If your husband is not successful, you shall not make things worse by worrying or being sad. You shall make him feel better, so he can try again. |
| IX. Thou shalt not seek to break up friendships and injure character by fabricating slander. Neither shalt thou indulge in insinuating innuendos; nor use half-spoken and surmising sentences, nor suspicious and knowing or upturned looks, that seem to say, “Oh my; if you but knew what I know;” (yet what you DON’T KNOW would make a very large book, PERhaps.) Neither shalt thou go about with thy gadding-needle, gossip-thread, and scandal-basket of evil speaking, with which to mend the character and manners of thy neighbors; for when thy handy-work is returned unto thee–as it will be–magnified, and twisted, and changed, thou wilt reply in anger, “I never said it,” yet will not be believed, but henceforth be considered a busy-body and a mischief-maker–and thy FRIENDS shall say of thee, “It’s just what I expected.” | 9. You shall not gossip and ruin male friendships. If you do, gossip will someday ruin your life too. |
| X. Thou shalt not give these commandments a revengeful interpretation; nor curl thy lip in insulted contempt, nor flash fire from the corners of thine eyes. Neither shalt thou allow thy finger-nails to be drawn inwards, in imaginary and Amazonian hieroglyphics and scratches upon the frontispiece of thy servant; but, instead thereof, thou shalt speak a kind word for him to thine unmarried sister, and present him with “a piece of a plate,” or a leather medal,” with which to commemorate to posterity his good intentions, Yet thou shalt not take pleasure in thinking–”Won’t these suit Mrs. So-and-so?” but examine carefully where they speak unto thee, that peradventure by their admonition and by reading twice a week the last chapter of Ephesians, thou mayest profit thereby, and thy children by thy example, and thy children’s children after thee, rise up to call thee blessed. | 10. You shall not be insulted by these commandments. You will honor the messenger, and follow them, and some time you will be honored in return. |
| Lastly: TO UNMARRIED LADIES.–Thou shalt not become weary of waiting for thy lover’s return; nor expect him at thy side before his purse is full; nor forsake him because he is poor; nor marry another because he is rich–(for here the rich become poor and the poor become rich.) Neither shalt thou hesitate–if thou lovest him–when he sendeth for thee; yet, LET HER REMAIN who, if a room is not carpeted, or a dinner needs cooking, or a shirt requires washing, expects to drown irrecoverably in briny tears, or die immediately in agonizing spasms, because she “never soiled her fingers before, and now–it is so provoking”–poor thing. Moreover, whisper ye to the wives at home, that they “cut up no capers,” while, uncheered and alone–frequently against hope–their husbands toil unremittingly on from weary month to month, without one murmuring thought of what they suffer or forego for the dear ones, far, far away. AMEN–So mote it be.
FORTY-NINE. |
Finally, to unmarried ladies: you shall wait for your boyfriend as long as it takes for him to be ready to marry you. You will not leave him for a richer man. And when he is ready you will not hesitate. But if you are the kind of woman who will complain about the hard work needed to establish a home on the frontier, then don’t bother marrying him. And tell the wives of men who are out here that they should not be enjoying themselves while their husbands work so hard for them without support. AMEN. 1849 |
James Hutchings and W.C. Butler, “Commandments to California Wives,” before 1855. Prints and Ephemera, Huntington Digital Library.
Background
On January 24, 1848, James W. Marshall found gold at Sutter’s Mill in Coloma, California. By 1855, about 300,000 people flocked to California to seek their fortunes, a rapid movement that historians call the California Gold Rush. Prospectors lived rough existences out in the wilderness while they panned and mined for gold. The majority of prospectors were single men looking to make a quick fortune before returning back East. But some prospectors brought their wives and families with the intent to build a new life out West with the gold they found. Other settlers made their fortunes by quickly building new settlements and providing services for the prospectors and their families. The new settlements that were founded in this period developed their own customs and culture that did not always live up to the standards of eastern cities.
About the Document
Writer and magazine publisher James Hutchings published “Commandments to California Wives” around 1855. The commandments are satirical guidelines for women living in the newly established mining settlements of California. Today, the piece reads as misogynist and classist. It also reveals how white settler women were expected to live up to popularized ideals of womanhood even when living under challenging circumstances.
Vocabulary
- prospector: A person who searches for mineral deposits, in this case gold.
- misogynistic: Strongly prejudiced against women.
- classist: Prejudice against people of different social classes.
Discussion Questions
- What does this document reveal about the expectations for white women living in mining settlements?
- Why is there so much emphasis on the way women dress and spend their money?
- Reading between the lines, what are some things we can infer about white women living in California mining settlements from this document?
Suggested Activities
- For a larger lesson about how mining booms impacted the lives of women differently depending on their race, teach this document together with the following:
- To learn more about the ideals of American womanhood in this era, see:
- For more about white women settlers in the American West, see:
Themes
AMERICAN CULTURE
